What is,,, UP??

I cant believe Gina is so stupid. Ok, so about the backstabbing, they kept on following me when I talked to Elle. When they were like 3 inches close, I said loudly just so they could hear. "Oh yeah ang Gina and Melissa are feeling sorry for me and its really annoying."

Then the next day, I was talking about her shitty friend ness and she was like,"Oh but I thought you were backstabbing me, I heard my name." I said,"I only said that because I knew you were listening." ISNT SHE SO STUPID??!!!

Something is wrong with me. Its kind of like... well if I told you, youd think I was crazy. Its like... something I cant tell my family or my friends. I know they just wouldnt believe me. Nobody would. And they would probably think I was looking for attention, or just plain weird. I hate that so much. So I have no idea who to tell.

Ok. So like when I talk to someone, its like I get a connection, and I know what they are thinking, I cant control how I act arround them, so I act bad and annoying. Then... I can kind of hear it in my head... what they would think... and... I dont know what to do because I think I have gone mental.

Everyone has something to tell them, someone has been talking behind their back right? You can just tell. But sometimes, someone is just so unpredictable that you have no idea what they are saying, and you tell yourself you should trust them. But I cant trust them, since they are just a group of gossiping bitches.

So during P.E, Kaishvi was like, "Melissa you ok?" Then Melissa shook her head and she did that stupid hand thing while she pointed to me ( its like when you lift your hand, and you point to your hand in the direction of the person you are "secretly" pointing at) And then Melissa went over to Kaishvi to talk about me.

I know Im better than her and ive been through a lot so I know it would be annoying if I asked her what she was talking about. She doesnt know anything. LIKE RIGHT AFTER I TALKEED TO ELLE SHE WAS LIKE, WHAT DID YOU TELL HER? That was so annoying. So I knew that I shouldnt ask her, no matter how curious I was. Sometimes, you just have to mind peoples privacy.

Why cant anyone understand that? Why are they so stupid? Shallow? Selfish?

I know that everyone is like that, and you cant change them.

I feel like im meant to do something in the world, something important, but I also know, thats never going to happen. I think I may be scared of something, but I dont know. If there werent rules I would be fighting at school a lot. And I would show everyone who I am inside. Because if they screw with me, I will kill them.

~Strawberry's Blog~