I have officially gone mad. Something is seriously wrong with me. I think I have some disease to do with emotional-ness. So I like overreact and cry for stupid reasons. I get mood swings, first I’m mad then I’m sad then I’m happy. Ok, so I sing and when I just pour out how I feel I get this great loving feeling when I’m singing. So I started out singing some song I know then I started making lyrics up, then I went to a whole new rhythm and a whole new song. Then I sang about killing people who cross me and I started squeezing stuff and scratching myself since I was so mad. Then I was like loosening my grip and sing happy <3 songs. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, something is. It’s strange, the madder I get, the better I can control my anger.
I think something happened to me. Something had to, to make me change like this. I don’t know what… This blog is where my anger can be written. I always look forward to writing this stuff so that I can let go of what happened. But sometimes I just can’t tell even this blog, and the bad stuff are still stuck in my head.
I use to not get embarrassed and not really care what people think, but something is seriously wrong. Everyone is so critical. I really hate it. Everyone expects people to be perfect, and think that they are perfect. When they are just really selfish, and they don’t know what being human is. They should know that it’s really hard to live up to your friends or family. I hate people so much, and it is so hard to live with rules. I can’t take it.
Gina is acting strange. I just can’t talk to her as my best friend anymore. Something probably happened. She is starting to annoy me. But it’s not her fault, it mine. Because of my mood swings and my incapability to control my anger. Sometimes I just feel so mad. I wonder how I can take it, how I just can’t punch people. Then I think about that college crap. I just hate it. Why cant people just give free jobs and let us have free homes, free food, and free hotels? That’s all we need. If the price on food was lower, and the clothes then maybe it would be better. If people could just learn to live without a lot of money, maybe we could be equal.
Maybe there could be something different than just this hard world. Maybe there are actually other worlds. I bet that there are so many people like me that just do this, and they probably have no money, no lives, and no nothing, except for what they believe in.
~Strawberrys Blog~
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