dont read.

ok this is just a thingy from gaia

[IMG]http://i522.photobucket.com/albums/w343/iyumcandii/wooeypooeyy-1.jpg[/IMG]
hehe lookies...
[img]http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f64/FR3SH--/bbbb-1.jpg[/img]
ERR... SUPPOSE TO BE BARNEY DAY... -SNIFF-
[img]http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f64/FR3SH--/BARNEYY-1.jpg[/img]
frendiesss
[img]http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f64/FR3SH--/rallyy3-1.jpg[/img]
group picture!! XD
[IMG]http://i522.photobucket.com/albums/w343/iyumcandii/grouppicturees-1.jpg[/IMG]
yay heres more
[IMG]http://i522.photobucket.com/albums/w343/iyumcandii/teddycandii-1.jpg[/IMG]
:heart:
more frendies. omg its getting so crowded...
[img]http://i45.photobucket.com/albums/f64/FR3SH--/brb-1.jpg[/img]
frendies everywheree
[IMG]http://i522.photobucket.com/albums/w343/iyumcandii/hehefrendies-2.jpg[/IMG]
more frendiesss...
[IMG]http://i522.photobucket.com/albums/w343/iyumcandii/annaaannddmeee-3.jpg[/IMG]
aaaahhhh. totally running out of space!!!
[IMG]http://i522.photobucket.com/albums/w343/iyumcandii/winky-1.jpg[/IMG]
okies. -sigh- so many. cute huh???
[IMG]http://i284.photobucket.com/albums/ll16/looloochan15/domo.jpg[/IMG]

Gone Mad and Mood Swings

I have officially gone mad. Something is seriously wrong with me. I think I have some disease to do with emotional-ness. So I like overreact and cry for stupid reasons. I get mood swings, first I’m mad then I’m sad then I’m happy. Ok, so I sing and when I just pour out how I feel I get this great loving feeling when I’m singing. So I started out singing some song I know then I started making lyrics up, then I went to a whole new rhythm and a whole new song. Then I sang about killing people who cross me and I started squeezing stuff and scratching myself since I was so mad. Then I was like loosening my grip and sing happy <3 songs. I don’t know what’s wrong with me, something is. It’s strange, the madder I get, the better I can control my anger.

I think something happened to me. Something had to, to make me change like this. I don’t know what… This blog is where my anger can be written. I always look forward to writing this stuff so that I can let go of what happened. But sometimes I just can’t tell even this blog, and the bad stuff are still stuck in my head.

I use to not get embarrassed and not really care what people think, but something is seriously wrong. Everyone is so critical. I really hate it. Everyone expects people to be perfect, and think that they are perfect. When they are just really selfish, and they don’t know what being human is. They should know that it’s really hard to live up to your friends or family. I hate people so much, and it is so hard to live with rules. I can’t take it.

Gina is acting strange. I just can’t talk to her as my best friend anymore. Something probably happened. She is starting to annoy me. But it’s not her fault, it mine. Because of my mood swings and my incapability to control my anger. Sometimes I just feel so mad. I wonder how I can take it, how I just can’t punch people. Then I think about that college crap. I just hate it. Why cant people just give free jobs and let us have free homes, free food, and free hotels? That’s all we need. If the price on food was lower, and the clothes then maybe it would be better. If people could just learn to live without a lot of money, maybe we could be equal.

Maybe there could be something different than just this hard world. Maybe there are actually other worlds. I bet that there are so many people like me that just do this, and they probably have no money, no lives, and no nothing, except for what they believe in.
~Strawberrys Blog~

Sisters and More Things With the Letter S

Well...

I don’t get anything. Why is everything so unfair? Why does my dad like my sister so much better than me? He is very mean and so is my sister. I hate it. He gave her a new cell phone for Christmas and she says that what I want for Christmas is expensive when hers was so much more money than mine, and it wasn’t even from Santa. She always gets spoiled and she doesn’t even deserve it. But I bet that I’ll get a present too, and those shoes, I hope. Why is everything so unjust? It’s because people in the world wish that they could rule. We are meant to share as equals, and that is why there is global warming, murders, and just bad people in general. Seriously, my sister probably just hates me, she never even looks at me, she yells at me when I touch her stuff. I just want to see her cell phone and she starts yelling at me. Yes I do have my own phone but she ALWAYS gets the better things, just because she’s the oldest girl. Usually the younger one gets more things right? Well that’s not true. I’m different, I get treated differently than most people and I don’t care. I don’t care what people think of me. I just hate it when the backstab me. Yes, I’m talking about my so called “friends.”

Since winter break is coming, and the yearly Tech Museum field trip is tomorrow, we got and gave our presents today. I got like a bazillion (or jillion) or knee high socks. I also got this cute peek-a-pooh like charm and a lot of candy. I gave out giant Hershey bars to my friends. I forgot that I had forgotten people so I felt a bit guilty.

Now it’s time to talk about the S word. I would type it out loud but just in case someone finds this blog… Okay, so I wear short shorts and long socks to school a lot, and that doesn’t mean that people should call me the S word. At least I know I’m not and at least they know that they are S’s and B’s. Seriously, the totally are. They backstab, wear makeup, hump poles, and smother guys. Lol.

Oreos new name is now Teddy Bear. Teddy Bear because in pixie year, a guy asked me out and gave me a teddy bear. It was really sweet but… yea. Ok so moving on, I never see him anymore (both of the guys). Teddy bear giver went to Korea. Teddy Bear has gone missing, and I have no idea where he went. I probably don’t like him anymore… Oh well.

~Strawberry's Blog~

What is Happening to the World?

bWhy is everything so suckish. I think I am getting weaker. My punches arent as strong as before. Why is everyone so mean and trying to be one of those so called "popular" people. I you ask me (which you didnt), why everyone is acting like this, ill tell you why. Its because THE WORLD IS ENDING, global warming, death, wannabes. This is all a sign telling us to get over stuff and realize that what we are doing is stupid.

Ok. So the better I am at hearing people think, the worse I am at making people feel better. I use to be good at that stuff. It was so easy, now its so hard, and everyone is sad this year. Something is going to happen, I can feel it.

Your always born to do something in the world, but you never know what it is. You can tell that its so important, but if you dont start to fly, then your probably going to be at those drug stores selling cotton candy. Everyone needs a push, and people to stick by them. No one cares though, so whats going to happen? We all die sooner or later, so it doesnt matter if you get killed, drown, commit suicide. Everything ends.

People should be nice to each other because it would really hurt if you remember what they did to you forever until the day you die. If I wouldnt get in trouble, then I would beat up everyone I know just to make sure they dont screw with me, well most of the time they dont, but yea, most of the time. But then, if no one got in trouble, then everyone would do it.

What is going to happen...?

~Strawberrys Blog~

What is,,, UP??

I cant believe Gina is so stupid. Ok, so about the backstabbing, they kept on following me when I talked to Elle. When they were like 3 inches close, I said loudly just so they could hear. "Oh yeah ang Gina and Melissa are feeling sorry for me and its really annoying."

Then the next day, I was talking about her shitty friend ness and she was like,"Oh but I thought you were backstabbing me, I heard my name." I said,"I only said that because I knew you were listening." ISNT SHE SO STUPID??!!!

Something is wrong with me. Its kind of like... well if I told you, youd think I was crazy. Its like... something I cant tell my family or my friends. I know they just wouldnt believe me. Nobody would. And they would probably think I was looking for attention, or just plain weird. I hate that so much. So I have no idea who to tell.

Ok. So like when I talk to someone, its like I get a connection, and I know what they are thinking, I cant control how I act arround them, so I act bad and annoying. Then... I can kind of hear it in my head... what they would think... and... I dont know what to do because I think I have gone mental.

Everyone has something to tell them, someone has been talking behind their back right? You can just tell. But sometimes, someone is just so unpredictable that you have no idea what they are saying, and you tell yourself you should trust them. But I cant trust them, since they are just a group of gossiping bitches.

So during P.E, Kaishvi was like, "Melissa you ok?" Then Melissa shook her head and she did that stupid hand thing while she pointed to me ( its like when you lift your hand, and you point to your hand in the direction of the person you are "secretly" pointing at) And then Melissa went over to Kaishvi to talk about me.

I know Im better than her and ive been through a lot so I know it would be annoying if I asked her what she was talking about. She doesnt know anything. LIKE RIGHT AFTER I TALKEED TO ELLE SHE WAS LIKE, WHAT DID YOU TELL HER? That was so annoying. So I knew that I shouldnt ask her, no matter how curious I was. Sometimes, you just have to mind peoples privacy.

Why cant anyone understand that? Why are they so stupid? Shallow? Selfish?

I know that everyone is like that, and you cant change them.

I feel like im meant to do something in the world, something important, but I also know, thats never going to happen. I think I may be scared of something, but I dont know. If there werent rules I would be fighting at school a lot. And I would show everyone who I am inside. Because if they screw with me, I will kill them.

~Strawberry's Blog~

Backstabbers... And More About Backstabbers

Ok. So today I needed someone to talk to, someone not in my group so that I could tell them what is wrong with me. So yeah, I just went up to Elle and told her about my problems. Some of my group started to follow me and then I kept trying to run away and tell Elle what I was going to say. Then I told her stuff, and went back to my group. They were all like, BACKSTABBER!!! Bitches, they thought I was backstabbing them. What crappy friends right? Then Melissa was like, in that soft annoying voice, what did you talk to her about? I was like, I cant tell you. She was like, why? I said it was because you are in the group and that its so much easier to talk to other people than you guys.

Gina started ignoring me, she’s not really good at it since no one really includes her. I know people so well. When I was born, there was something, I think it’s the moon, and it gave me an ability to sense things, like get a connection with things. LOL. Ok anyways we said something, I forgot what… and she said, oh I thought you were backstabbing me. I said, you’re a really crappy friend if you think I talk behind your back. Then she was like, I know. Look how modest Gina is…

Other things:
I think Sandy likes Kevin. She always talks to him and I think I’m feeling a little jealous. Rebecca is such a wannabe, but I don’t really care about her anymore just talk to her when she talks to me. This sucks so much… I’ve been through so many stages of life and I cant even get to the most important one. I am going to look at illnesses and see which one fits me the best. Just to let you know, I have anger management. Punching bags help a lot. Its so good, you know? Strengthens you and helps maintain your anger. Kate is annoyed at me, I can tell, She is also feeling bad. Courtney is annoyed at me I don’t like her so that doesn’t matter. Gina is feeling glum because everything is so boring. Melissa is feeling left out because she too probably thinks that I was backstabbing her too since I wouldn’t tell her what I told Elle.

I really hate it when people feel sorry for me. Today I cried because … well I don’t know why and Kate was like, look she’s crying, and then everyone looked at me. Now that was freaking annoying. So then Melissa was like, let’s go to the bathroom ok? I thought that was really nice of her. When I came back Joanne was like, oh she stopped crying. She was probably thinking, wow that was quick.

I also hate people who give negative comments about my style. Like omg, I know they are fat and they are just jealous that they cant fit in my clothes. Lol. I was laughing on the inside. And what I also hate more than that, is when my friends don’t defend me. Now that’s a crappy friend. I mean like just say, well I like it, instead of just watching and saying, OH ITS OK, and patting me. THAT IS SO STUPID! IT MAKES ME FEEL LIKE SOME FREAKING RETARD WHO IS GETTING MADE FUN OF!

Anyways… bye for now.

~Strawberry~

koreans and other stuff

The Korean people in my class are really starting to annoy me. Like omg, they talk like hell in korean and its so annoying

chi cho koko wuuhhh. I mean seriously. Ever heard of english??

I use to sit behind one in my Chinese class and I was just talking to one of my friends, when he was like, shut up seriously! Hypocrite!!! Hes the one who talks like WWHOOAA and he cant say that to me. NUH UH. Also my science class has some field trip to the tech musuem, mommy's chaperoning. lol. MMOOMMMYY TOTALLY ROCKS!!! She buys McDonalds for my group but thats the prob, because last time I had Brian in my group and he told his freinds that my mom is so awesome. So then they signed up to be in my group and all of my real friends cant be in it. But I just put Gina's name in it so that i wont be left out. But Mr. Ibanga will probably say no, once he finds out. But if I could choose between Micheal H and Gina, guess who ill choose??? GINA. For those stupid people who dont know.

Lol. Dont assume that I think Korean people are annoying, no, I actually think they are good looking (hehe dont call me boy-crazy) and funny. But omg these ones are just way too hypocritical.

Rebecca (aka racer, i finally remembered her name) is trying to steal Gina. Rebecca is a cheapo and only gives good presents to american people and gives the crap she doesnt like to the friends she had for a long time. Bitch. I dont like her. but yea keep your friends close and your enemies closer. Geee, I hope no one at school finds this blog... lol. Oh well. If someone did, I wouldnt care, Id give them a punch and tell the principal that they tried to hit me. But Omg. If they did hit me and I wrote it in my blog then, then, then, then, he would know... and say that im lying. I also dont like Courtney Shults. Shes just, I dont know I just dont like her.

What I really hate is when asians try to be sluts. It doesnt work, and it doesnt make people like them anymore.

Melissa is really annoyed at Sandy, and Sandy is really annoyed at Melissa. Im annoyed at both of them. Im annoyed at Melissa because she just wont grow up, like mentally. Also that she thinks people are copying her, as long as she knows she started it whats the prob? But like me, she gets upset, and starts thinking, OH NO ONE UNDERSTANDS!!!! Ive been through that stage. Gosh, just hurry up or your friends wont wait for you. Rebecca said that Melissa shouldnt hang out with the Trina, Jienne, Courtney, Audrey, Peoples group because no one there likes her. That fucking bitch of a backstabber. Anyways, I think that bitch isnt a bad word, so what??? Its just a girl dog, nothing wrong with that. Right??

My sister make me so mad, but I try to restrain myself from swearing about her since people might find out about it. She makes ME SO FREAKING MAD!!!!!

Happy Thoughts:

-Death Note-

Matt and Mello are so cute together. I keep on reading fanfiction.net about them, and watching Youtube videos about them too. So cute. Anyways, I wish I oculd just move. Everything is just too boring.

Oreos, also known as Rockband -new name- didnt show up at school for two weeks... But the next day... I saw him and his brother at a restuarant after the holiday parade. :) Strange how things work out right? Im not even sure I like him. Thats why im going crazy. 0.0

Also Kevin (also known as: Car, Van, Bin,) looks at me sometimes... maybe i really am going crazy. He's in my math class, I almost forgot about that. I wrote my name in every single book in that class. ... just something to remember me by...

I am eating chili soup (from Quiznos)

I just dont get why everyone wants to interview me for Yearbook... Even if I get a million interviews, ill probably wont be in a lot anyways... My style, sports that I do, and things that I think are the questions they throw at me.
"Hey what do you think of your taste in clothes?? Long socks? Why? Dancing huh? Wow also Jujitsu??? -my thinking about (school dances) - I love it when the guys act stupid and try to show off in front of us. Ist funny. -:P face- -makes comment about boxers-

Anyways... I love the sky, and climbing to it. Sometimes... dont you just want to fly???