Yn. a state of doubt. Pt 2. Just words.

I think its time to love myself. Even if others dont. Even though I know I have beautiful friends that walk around with gorgous, but unnatural hair. I have other friends who hate their own because they arent as great as them. Or those who say, nice hair, trying to make the girl feel better but also knowing it was a lie.

Does everybody think like me? Or am I different? Wierd?
Maybe they just need to grow up, or I need to grow slower.
I dont understand why people cant stop and think.
I dont understand how girls can just talk to guys and how sometimes guys just ignore them.

I may be on the Softball team. I just read Dreamland by Sarah Dessen. One thing I liked was that the author just described 'Caitlin', and didnt state if she was pretty or ugly or just average. It makes you think if she was describing 'Caitlin' as herself. Does she know what she is?
It shows how any girl can be treated the way she was, regardless of whats on the outside, a weak girl on the inside will always be misused.

Does natural beauty exist when you grow up? Because all around me, all I see is fake fake dye.

Yn. a state of doubt.

You know as a child, or younger than I am now, I always thought I was pretty. Even though no one ever told me I was, I always thought it. I never believed it when someone said ugly. Although nobody ever did except my sister and a girl named Jessica Oh. Well as I began to grow up and become something else, people tell me Im pretty everyday. Or at least, almost. I never believed them because looking at my pictures back then, the present me thought that girl couldnt be me. That I was prettier. Did I change? What happened to the me back then? Did I look the same. Or did I finally realize what I truly looked like in other peoples eyes?
I was thinking that,
Thus coming to the conclusion that in every girls mind, she is brainwashed to always think she is beautiful until she grows up and sees herself as what she really is. The right type of pretty.
Its so bizzare.
I guess thats why fat children are fat, they never care that others think theyre fat, because when they look in the mirror, they see somebody different. When they grow up, they lose weight or complain about their vuluxuious-ness.

I know Ill look different next time. Each day, I change.

~Yn

The Stupid Guys?

Im always saying guys are so stupid.
But maybe, just maybe, I liked that about them.

Yn Is having doubts~

Even though everyone hates liars, they still do it.
I hate it when people lie to me. It might hurt but then you know that they really care about you. Or if there just trying to make you feel better with false flattery. Boo them.

:] Yn~

Additional Notes. againnn...

The bad thing is that I think I may like a younger kid...
He just makes me feel... I dont know. But Ive never talked to him in my entire life...

This reminds me of Skip Beat. With Kanae and that 11 year old.

Oh No.

~End of Add. Notes~

Almost there...

School is coming in 4 days. I just dont want summer to end but I want to see whats going to happen at school. Instead of guys and friends I think I am going to study a lot more and exercise a lot more also. Last year didnt go very well because I think I was a pretty bad person. But only to my standards. So I decided that I will never talk bad about anyone or hurt them intentionally.

I bet a lot of things are going to change.
But I think its ok.

I just got back from Yosemite and received many bug bites. They seem to only like my blood. It was fun obviously but we only hiked one trail.

School will seem boring this year right? I have to get smarter. No more distractions. No being rude or inconsiderate.

Ill try to be a nice and good person. Ill save my money and work much harder.

Ill even try not to read manga because lately I have been very hooked.

Ill try to use good grammar too. :]]

~I have to change Strawberry~
~My name will be Yn~
Lol.

Another new Post on The same Day

I forgot to mention...
I started my period. Sure Im a bit late... But I am wwwaaayyyy earlier than my sister.

Laawwwll ends. nothing